Crow Talk 101

Choices...

2008-12-06T13:25:00.000-05:00

we make affect us thru time . A ripple moving at the same velocity as we travel, intermittently making it's presence slightly distingushable. We barely recognize it as a result of a choice.Other ripples such as happenstance travel much faster and hit you much more prevantly. After so many consequences have been endured we may find ourselves more diligent in pondering our decisions. We can tune in to others of like nature and benefit where they have failed. The Lord will guide us thru happenstance and as a good Father would He'll show patience when we shout " are we there yet?"

Secret mile

2008-11-07T01:21:00.001-05:00

Hidden only in my imagination
Softly nestled in my dream
Causing little fervor
Nothing's what it seems
Dancing with a whimsy
Chilling with a scheme
Entertaining mixed emotions
Fear begins to teem
Troubles seek to find me
Can't it let me go
Intends to push me further
Wants my blood to flow
Unbound from all the fury
Far enough away
Finding peace within my heart
Please allow it to stay
I've found out what love is
See it everyday
Holding it like oxygen
Praying, " hope it's here to stay"
Friends are held more tightly
Others...they have cooled
If tomorrow was shining brightly
Filling up this room
Could I stay forever
Basking neath your bloom
Bringing on some countless smiles
Try hard not to judge me
Or my secret mile...mile...miles

No place like home

2008-11-07T01:20:00.000-05:00

Many days have passed since I had a home. The memories are slowly fading. The comfort I once felt is all but gone. My life may have resembled yours, work, pray, little time for play. My responsibilities as a father was more of a privledge. My two daughters brought me very few worries. So few I have a hard time recalling any. Trying not to be boastful but still yet I want to give these two young ladies the kudos they deserve.
If you presently have a job, home, family, someone to hold you when you feel like you can't go on I pray that you won't have to travel my path. It's a path I never chose but one I've been accredited for choosing. Things in life do spiral out of control. A series of unfortunate events can plummet you to the very bottom and all you can do is grasp at anything....anything at all no matter how insecure it appears and turns out to be as well. Hang on tight while you're still on firm ground. Stop...just stop for even a few minutes and look around you. Prioritize what you could and could not live without. Use wisdom in your choices putting things that could never be replaced at the top of your list. If you have someone who holds you through those lonely ... lonely times, hold on tight. Little things are very dear to me now. My words are chosen with forethought. Don't meet me in the ditches. Let my life give you determination. If you can't help me up, please, don't pull yourself down trying....K?

Primal

2008-11-07T01:17:00.000-05:00

My simian mood banters logic back and forth like soiled food. Gain is but an emotion, a sensation, a state of mind. Struggling for solitude the losses soar yet go uncounted. Surely as I was born into carnality I shall step beyond these restraints...

Bliss...

2008-11-07T01:16:00.000-05:00

Things change so quickly you can become blinded by the reality and starkness of the circumstances that can come at you so fast that your mind simply can't comprehend the simplest of truths no matter the amount of effort applied. Thankfully when bombarded with this barrage of conflicting ideas recently I was able to draw on a peace that enabled me take myself out of the situation and reduce the harm that I may have taken from ones I had once held so dear. My mind shifted to self preservation only after being berated to the point of anger. Those that know me know that anger is my least visited emotion but once released will most often became aimed inwardly causing me even more discontent. My most severe punishment always comes from within. Finally, able to escape needless damnation I've began to regain a confidence and strength that had at times only been glimpses of the man I once was. My only concern is to not becoming the man, who stood for nothing for so many years, once again. No longer will I hold the value on material things I once enjoyed. My goal now is compiled of simplicity. I desire to regain my friendship and understanding I once held with God and myself. My steps may come slow but they'll be deliberate. Change may not come as swiftly as expected but the anticipation is intense. The path is clear in my mind and I feel a new strength emerging that should be sufficient to take me back to a place that once displayed a man adept at giving all for peace of mind. Most my material possessions have been sacrificed after which I realized these things didn't make me who I am. Not to be valued by my accomplishments but to be love by those I can touch without affliction of grasping for judgment of their deeds. Love covers a multitude of sins. Those whom I love and am loved by will assist me in finding the closest thing to bliss. First I must clear my mind of the negative pelting I've received, forgive those that have bought into the nonsense of weapons being formed against me, take joy in the lack of damage sustained,then set my sights toward using these days, these blessings from the Father to make my world a better place. I can...

Attempts

2008-11-06T11:33:00.000-05:00

Days grew in numbers and doubt made me weak and emotional. Thoughts became self rule, undaunted by others opinions, driven by anger... suffering loss daily. Selfish pride was stripped away by consequences of one mistake followed by another. Desperation led me back to bridges I had already set ablaze. Like a cornered beast my reaction to the dread I faced combined with the confusion of reality of life versus my previous conception of such, made my actions appear aggressive. Instead I only desired retreat from the battle of maintaining a social plateau, that I was constantly told was my goal. Steady was the course that finally restored self confidence to boldly proclaim... as part of a union or souly alone... I will stand a build again...

Paths

2008-05-22T13:23:00.000-04:00

From where I started out to where I'm at now is a haphazard display of how my mind works, where people have taken me, and where God has placed me at this point. Favor, injustice,birth and death have all played some part. Mostly my journey has been without a clear cut destination, other times I was determined to go my way. Other times I had no idea why God led me to a certain place or brought individuals into my life. Right now I'm in a surreal situation because I allowed someone to stab me in the back. At first I tried to help them find direction but I knew it was a matter of time before he would make his move. I couldn't save him from the assault. I just ask Lord that you have mercy on his soul and wash away any animosity I may carry...

Soiled

2008-04-10T13:26:00.000-04:00

Life as a whole involves incidents that result in some level of uncleanliness. We get dirty, we wash it off. We get stained, God washes it off. Either way, we're still in the world, maybe not of the world, and we will definately become soiled again and again.Strange how we have the ability to feel dirty. Strange how God gave us an inner man that tells us we are approaching dirty, really dirty, or way past dirty. Have you ever had a time when you were doing what someone had told you was a real no-no but when you searched your feelings you didn't find any guilt. As I said, God gave us inner man. He did not put us in a world of glorious things and say, "Hands off." Instead he gave us the ability to know what our parameters are based on the life we choose. I choose to follow the path Jesus made for us. Just like Him people say I'm different than those they've met. As His partakings in life were questioned, so are many of ours. It isn't my choice that troubles me, it's people's reactions to my choices. My choices. God given. Agreeable to the inner man. I rest easy with my decisions.

Firestorm

2008-03-10T13:32:00.000-04:00

"What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger." When you've led a life wrought with emotion you've become accustom to this phrase.It contains a great deal of truth. We hear so many phrases ,that we are satisfied with our initial impressions of these phrases. No need to explore any further, doesn't apply to you. None of us intend to go thru the fire of life, improvished conditions where life becomes quiet similar to a potter's kiln or a blast furnace used to strengthen,temper the steel. Iron sharpens iron, companionship among the judged provides healing. But what about the part that does indeed kill you. When soft, the potters clay can be smashed, molded or formless. Time in the oven results in something beautiful and unyeilding which has also become rigid to the point that it can be shattered by the precisely placed strike.Which is better? Steel forged in the furnace has greater strength but also has a more defined point at which it will snap.Coal is consumed. Water is displaced.Children die by those being pressured by an unimagined force,which can cause such a profane development that it must be comparible to the force needed to shape a beautiful diamond.Even though what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger, it can also leave you rigid and not ready for the next battle, for the battle will come. Be attentative to where your strength comes from. Temperal strenghth is shallow and will fail you when you need it most. Think about it..." where do I get my strength?"